


Apologies In Advance

by GypsyJr (HippieGeekGirl)



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Babies, F/M, Family, Fatherhood, Fluff, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-30
Updated: 2011-03-30
Packaged: 2017-10-17 09:32:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HippieGeekGirl/pseuds/GypsyJr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has a chat with his one-month-old son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apologies In Advance

**Author's Note:**

> Written after the first movie, but surprisingly canon-compliant for the sequel.

He’d almost been late.

Even years later, that would be the main thing he’d remember about that day. He’d been away on business, trying to help quell an uprising in some South American country he couldn’t even recall the name of, and it was only thanks to Rhodey and Jarvis’s intervention that he hadn’t shown up at the hospital in the Iron Man suit. He’d arrived plain-clothed, much to Pepper’s relief, just in time to welcome Edward James Stark into the world.

Most of those early days had become a happy blur in his memory, punctuated by moments of intense clarity. He remembered being stunned into speechlessness the first time he’d held his son, a healthy seven-pound baby with his father’s dark features and his mother’s fair complexion. He remembered sneaking them out of the hospital through a side entrance, barely sparing a word for the reporters that had descended on them. He remembered helping Pepper draft the birth announcement, laughing as she’d maneuvered her Blackberry with one hand while the other was occupied with her newborn child. He’d only been half-joking when he’d called her his superwoman.

As the weeks passed, they’d developed something of a routine. He typically handled night duty, since his still-troublingly-frequent bouts of nightmares and insomnia meant he was usually awake anyway. Today was no different in that respect.

“Jarvis, if Pepper wakes up, tell her we’re downstairs.”

 _“Of course, sir.”_

He collected his hungry son from the nursery, and after a quick check to make sure nothing else needed his attention they made their way down to the basement. Jarvis had already turned the lights on low, and Tony made a mental note to thank the AI somehow. He’d really been indispensable since they’d brought Edward home. The fluorescent lights over the work areas remained off, but even in the dim light Tony could see the suit, a silent sentinel waiting to be called into action.

He had no idea when he’d be able to put it on again.

He’d realized early on that hanging it up for good wasn’t an option. He had far too many people to answer to, most importantly himself. Reaching into the fridge for one of the baby bottles that now nestled among the iced coffee drinks and expensive spring water, he found himself thinking of the first time he’d donned the armor for a real mission. He remembered the boy he’d saved looking up at him with a mixture of shock, fright and gratitude. He’d never come close to imagining back then that his calling might one day tear him away from his own family.

Of course if he was honest with himself, he’d never expected to live long enough to have a family. He mulled this over as he went through the motions of warming the bottle and settling them both on the leather sofa. It had taken many long and occasionally heated conversations to convince him that adding parenthood to the already precarious balancing act that was his life wasn’t a completely insane idea. In the end, it had been his own words that persuaded him. He doubted that Pepper had used them against him deliberately, but they were far more honest coming from her than they ever had been from him.

 _It’s an imperfect world, but it’s the only one we’ve got._

A quiet noise soon told him that his son was finished with his early morning meal. He immediately shifted positions and began patting him on the back, muttering a string of soothing words. Moments passed by peacefully.

“I really don’t think I’m very good at this, you know.”

The blatant admission of his fears was surprising even to him. He forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat before he continued. It was ironic, he thought. He could face down terrorists and sharks in business suits without blinking, yet he was completely intimidated by someone who was still learning to control his own limbs. If someone had told him two years ago that this was the turn his life would take, he would have politely asked what kind of drugs they were enjoying.

“I mean, I don’t have a lot of experience. My track record with father figures is pretty lousy.” He took a deep breath, unintentionally inhaling a whiff of New Baby Smell in the process. “I guess I’m telling you this now so you won’t be disappointed later. I’m going to make mistakes. Not too many, I hope, but there are probably going to be times when you need me and I won’t be there. And for that I am… _deeply_ sorry.”

He stared at the darkened workshop, full of unfinished projects that suddenly seemed utterly inconsequential and life-alteringly important at the same time. “My life isn’t always safe. If anything ever happens to me, I need you to know why I do what I do. Because this… this is all for you now. I just hope you understand someday.”

After a moment’s pause, he leaned down and kissed the sleeping boy on the head. “Jarvis, you get all that?”

 _“Every word, sir. Shall I add it to the file?”_

“Yeah, thanks.”

The file in question was a sort of virtual baby book, containing video, photos and other documentation of young Edward Stark’s life. He’d planned to surprise Pepper with it on Mother’s Day. This particular moment, however, was for a different audience entirely.

 

When Pepper found them a few hours later, they were both fast asleep behind the wheel of the hotrod. She ran a hand through Tony’s hair, smiling as his eyes fluttered open.

“Hey. I missed you last night.”

“Yeah, sorry.” He gave her an apologetic look. Ever since they’d begun to work through the barriers between them, she’d hated waking up alone. “He got a little cranky. The engine noise calms him down.”

“Imagine that.” She smiled again, taking the baby from him as he stretched. “And you were worried you’d be bad at this.”

“Yeah, well,” he said through a yawn. “I think I’m getting there.”


End file.
